| | I have come to the conclusion that my philosophy of my life is work and my future, therefore, I will now only concentrate on my studies. They say that with music, you normally have to choose between making your career, or making your family. There is no time for both. I choose to make my career and give up on the opposite sex. It will never happen for me... So now, I give up.
I believe that there is no such thing as love. I don't believe it anymore. It's all bullshit to my ears. You hear of so many of these romance stories, yet nothing ever happens to you. That's my life. It sucks. I'm so sick and tired of one-way love, one-sided love, whatever you call it. I've done it for way too long and cannot handle it anymore. In dramas, they always work out. Boy realizes girl is the one for him, therefore, they end up together. But in reality, it never works, therefore, boy will never realize you are for him because of the fact that his eyes are glued to another chick. Why couldn't life be like those Korean Dramas or American Soap Operas you watch on tv, even all those shows you watch. Maybe it's my standards. Am I looking too high of a standard in a guy when I, myself, am below the average when you base it on everything, starting from looks going all the way up to status and personality? I'm just tired of getting my heart broken over and over again because of the fact that any guy I like(d) would either:
01. See right through me as if I am invisible.
02. Think of me as a only a friend, and when I say friend, I mean like guy-to-guy. They don't even think to count me in as a female. I AM A GUY to them...
03. Befriend me because he has a crush on my friend.
04. Befriend me to get to know the many wonderful, beautiful, pretty female friends I know.
05. Befriend me to get to know someone else due to my spontaneous open-ness to people.
He obviously want to hook up with someone and is a chicken to go up to her and say hi, I like you... but then again, I, myself, am a chicken. I can never go up to someone and actually admit to them that I like them. I just like them from afar and it is never revealed with the exception to a few people. I am independent. I do not need a male role in my life (besides my daddiee). I need to work on my studies. I believe all these qualities, but sometimes, deep down, I do believe that I wish I had someone to go to when I needed to. I wish I had someone who I could rely on. Someone who would lend me a shoulder when I need it. Sometimes, it's hard to stay happy 24/7 and robots need their rests too. BUT. Until someone proves me wrong. I believe that there is no one out there for me. I will live this world living solo, therefore, I must study on my major and earn myself a hardcore rockstar living... P.S. sorry about my rants. i just needed it. two songs i'd like to dedicate is:
Rain - Love Story
Minwoo - Don't Trust Men (ft. Big Tone)
they are my new addictions. and you get the point x) |
